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One of my husband's favorite jokes:

After 40+ years of faithful service to the same route, a Postman puts in for retirement. One month before his last day, he delivers announcements to all of his customers, emphasizing how happy he has been to take care of their postal needs, and how much it has meant to him to watch their families grow and thrive over the past 40 years. modern chic items to wear to a evening party

Days pass and the Postman hears nothing, not a card, not a thank you or congratulatory note. The few customers he sees on the street don't say anything. He is deeply disappointed.

On his final day, sadly approaching his last delivery, the lady of the house, Mrs. O'Connor rushes outside and breathlessly says, "Oh, I'm so glad you're here. I thought I missed you!" She tugs at his sleeve and says, "Quick, come inside. C'mon, follow me."

At last, someone has remembered the Postman, and his spirits are buoyed. A smile crosses his lips as he steps inside. Mrs. O'Connor tells him to put down his bag, then pulls him into the bedroom, pushes him onto the bed, tears off his clothes, drops her housecoat and proceeds to make mad passionate love to him.

Then she jumps up, goes to the dresser, grabs a $1 bill from her purse, tosses it at the Postman, quickly gets dressed, tells him to do the same and meet her in the dining room.

In the dining room, the Postman finds the table spread with fine foods, including caviar, lobster, prime rib, all the accompaniments and even champagne. The Postman and Mrs. O'Connor take their seats and enjoy the fabulous feast.

The stunned, baffled Postman wants to thank his hostess, but is not certain what he should say. He asks what made her think of this way of sending him off to retirement.

Mrs. O'Connor tells him, "Well, you know I got your announcement, and I told my husband about it. I asked him what we should do. My husband said '[BLEEP] him, give a dollar.'

"Lunch was my idea!"